Dudesday Tuesday: Are Men Hiding Their True Selves?

So today marks the day that Darren Hayes (the former front man of Savage Garden) drops his new album. It's promoted worldwide, Australia, Europe, Japan, but here in America most people are like 'who?'. The sad thing about us as a country is that we don't tend to care for deep music, if it's not some meaningless words we can shake our asses to at a club, we don't want it. Darren Hayes is too soft for us, he's not flaunting his money, he's not hitting women, he's not bragging about being how bad he is. So we don't like him. Men especially, we hate him. Why? Because he's everything we aren't; sensitive, deep, caring, comfortable in his own skin, cool yet a dork at the same time and not afraid to admit it, spiritual, a guy most women would kill for. So let me get to the point here, are we actually more like him than we'd like to admit? Are men secretly all of those things but just don't show it? I would like to say yes, but sadly, I'd be lying.

Let me stop classifying myself as part of this 'we' because I am not part of that group and never have been. Being a man, I see men when they are actually themselves and to be honest, for the most part it is very disappointing. I've always looked for that something special in a person, sometimes it's just not there. A few things I've learned;

If he's quiet, shy, a mysterious loner, it doesn't automatically make him a nice guy. In fact, most of them are dicks, they're just shy so you don't see it. Yes, some of them are worth getting to know and you might be surprised, but please don't get your hopes up.

If he has a girlfriend, he must be a good catch. No. Men know when they have a girl they need to hold on to and some of them know what to say to keep her. Be careful of these ones, because you'll believe what they want you to believe.

If he's a musician, he's deep. Sometimes, but sometimes he's doing it because you'll think he's deep. I've known guys who pick up a guitar and write sweet things just to get girls. Then he laughs to his buddies about how that corny stuff he wrote actually worked.

If he sincerely says he wants to change, it means he's going to do it. That, or he just knows enough to say what you want to hear. At the moment, yes, he may want to change, but there's a big difference between wanting to do something and actually having the willpower to do it.

Does this mean all men are a waste of your time? No, it just means you have to know what you're looking for and not be blinded by the image of what you want, it may just be a mirage. Don't be fooled into thinking there is more beneath the surface because honestly, a lot of the time, there really isn't. Yes it's sad and rather depressing, so when you find one of those gems, hold on to him. They are out there.