Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dudesday Tuesday: Bathing Suits

Summer is finally here. Well sort of, maybe not technically but in our hearts. That means all those hours you put in at the gym in order to look good in a bikini are about to pay off. You may be asking yourself which bathing suit you should actually buy, especially if you're trying to attract male viewers at the beach. So is there a type of bathing suit men prefer? Sorry, no. Female skin = happy men. Obviously the more skin the better but it's good to leave a little to our imaginations. Other than a one-piece, which should be reserved for young girls (and Olympic athletes, right Matt?), we appreciate all bathing suits. But let's explore some of the sexiest bathing suits out there from none other than Victoria's Secret of course.
Candice Swanepoel

We'll start with the bikini. Not much to say about this, it's simple yet elegant. The folds in the fabric add a certain mystique and although not overly revealing, it's sexy and very hard to look away from. Color is never really important, even ugly colors can look good in a bathing suits, as well as mismatched and jumbled color palettes that shouldn't normally go together.

The only logical place to go from a bikini is to a string bikini. Now this doesn't mean a thong in which your butt cheeks are completely exposed but simply a bikini that is held together by strings, much to guys dismay. Slightly more revealing than it's older sister, the strings make men want to untie them and may easily spark sexual fantasies which is certainly something to keep in mind, making it the sexiest in this family. Not to mention on this particular bathing suit you'll find shiny paillettes which automatically make men think of sexy mermaids, always a good thing.
Miranda Kerr

Next we have the string bikini's super hot cousin, the strapless bikini. Showing off extra chest and shoulders is a surefire way to grab attention. The strapless aspect is interesting because of the apparently magical qualities of this particular bathing suit that keep it up. Of course most men on the beach are hoping it loses it's magical powers but even if it doesn't, their eyes will be glued to you.
Alessandra Ambrosio

Let's move on to the bikini's kinda hot mother, the tankini. Now generally these should be reserved for women who are either young or old but with the right touch it can be pulled off by a girl who men would much rather see in something skimpier. In this picture, the intriguing cutout is enough to spark men's attention and keep it. Tankinis are great for athletic girls who actually plan on doing more than lying on the beach but still want to look sexy or for those who want to enjoy the day without worrying about guys staring.

Now generally speaking men aren't too fond of the one piece, it reminds us of our sister's bathing suits when we were little. But there of course exceptions, as most one pieces now aren't so much one piece as they are a teeny weeny piece of fabric connecting to other very revealing pieces of fabric, but they usually look a little strange. The one piece pictured above is great, it's like a skirt that's too short, like we're seeing something we shouldn't. So even though there's no belly showing, the illusion of getting an up-skirt is enough to off balance it and put it back in the extremely sexy category.

I'm sure there are a million other types of bathing suits out there and most of them are gorgeous, but there are a few things to stay away from. Number one is animal print, unless of course you're a middle aged woman living in the 80s or part of the Cheetah Girls. It's not necessarily a turn off but I haven't met too many guys who find it attractive. Second on the list which may surprise you is push-up tops. No one likes false advertising. In a bra beneath regular clothing it's perfectly understandable but when you're showing that much skin, men don't really care how big or small your boobs are, they're practically visible. And third, perhaps the biggest no no, no high waists. I won't post pictures because it might be embarrassing for the models but if it comes halfway up your stomach, it'll get you stares but not in the good way. Please, please, please make sure your bottoms are low enough to reveal your belly button.

My best advice to you, wear what feels sexy and comfortable at the same time. If you don't like showing off too much skin, don't. Men will find you attractive no matter kind of bathing suit you're sporting. And remember, men are going to be looking so expect it and be prepared. And my wife would kill me if I didn't say it so please also remember your sunscreen, you want to keep that gorgeous body as long as possible.

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