Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Cannes: The Bad

In lieu of a Beauty Girl Secret this week, I'm just going straight for the jugular in my Cannes coverage, the Bad. You know you love it. Stay tuned for coverage of the downright Ugly tomorrow (which also happens to be my birthday so I can be as snarky as I want to)!

Something about the way Alexa Chung looks rubs me the wrong way. It could be the hair that always looks two steps away from crackhead or the tiny legs. Possibly it's the fact that she conspires to start the ugliest trends and is called a fashion expert. Either way, she totally flopped at Cannes. I think she was going for Parisian chic with those black flats but they do not work with her oddly fitting white dress. All I see is knobby knees. Pass!

Claudia Schiffer seems like an odd choice on the red carpet but I'll go with it. Black lace has to be done just so and I think the see through, panties showing thing is wrong on so many levels. If the whole dress had a sheer panel under it (and a few less raw edges) I might be able to get on board with it. Loving the necklace though!

This dress on Emily Browning almost made it onto the Good list before I looked again. The color is great but the print? Not so much. This looks like it belongs on a formal night on a cruise ship. I applaud her choice of nude sandals and for rocking the pale is pretty look, I just don't think tropical prints have a place on the red carpet, Cannes or not.

Sweet Jesus! I had high hopes for Elizabeth Olsen, little sister of fashion empire-esses Mary Kate and Ashley. For one, she looks just like them but that might be her downfall in this ensemble. What was she thinking? All I can think is 80 year old bride. If Betty White could wear your outfit to her own wedding, it's a no go.

Ah, the Mia Wasikowska pictures I promised you yesterday. See what I mean? These nude shades so do not work for us pale girls. A slightly darker color might be fine but these just make her look like Casper the albino ghost! Not to mention both look like bad 80s rejects, shoes included. A little makeup would do her good as well.

Here's the nicest look on my Bad list and only one thing pushed it there. I love the fit, the length, the hair to offset the strapless bodice, but who in their right mind wants to look like a peppermint candy? Either that or she looks like she's wearing a white strapless one piece with an American flag towel wrapped around her waist. Sorry Zoe, better luck next time.

Last but certainly not least, Vanessa Hudgens. I know Cannes is a relaxed atmosphere but this is a little overboard, it looks like something better left for the beach with a teeny tiny bikini underneath. The tie shoulder really leans into homemade territory. All that's missing is a hippie headband stretched across the forehead.

There you have it, possibly the meanest I've ever been in a Bad's post. Wait until you see what I have in store for tomorrow and the Ugly List.

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