Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Dudesday Tuesday: Makeup Men Hate

About a week ago Yahoo! posted a story about "makeup that women love but men hate." I thought it would be interesting to give my opinion on it and in my personal experience if guys tend to agree or not. Overall I think they were spot on with only two major exceptions and both, if not done correctly, could be disastrous as well.

Let's cover the always negatives first. They have heavy foundations and powders at the top of the list and I'd have to agree. If the makeup is caked on then it's going to look awful. No matter how pretty it is, it looks too fake. Guys want a girl who wears make up but doesn't necessarily look like she wears any. Some guys even claim to prefer au naturale and look at any makeup as a bad thing, those are usually the guys who could use a bit of makeup themselves so forget about them! As long as it's not over the top you'll be all set. I do understand that make up covers pimples but honestly it rarely does a good job of it, not in real life, on camera it's fine but never cake on concealers and foundation to cover zits, it just makes them more noticeable.

Bump Its. Why? Oh my God why? No no no no no. Bumps in the hair look stupid, no matter who you are, how beautiful you are, how amazing your hair is. Bumps in your gorgeous hair make dudes laugh, women too for that matter. If it looks bad when celebrities do it then it's a good sign us normal folk shouldn't be doing it either. There are a million cool things you can do with your hair and making a lump on the top of your head is NOT one of them.

Neon Lipstick is a no no. Hell, guys don't even like red lips. Stay on the safe side and avoid lipstick all together except for fancy events when it's kind of called for. Men prefer lip gloss in normal colors. Who wouldn't? They're pretty, smell good and certain ones even taste good. No coating on the lips is good for kissing, I've never met a guy who preferred glossy lips to kiss over naked ones but we realize that lip gloss is pretty, just as long as we can tell they are actually lips. No funky colors please.

Rosy Cheeks are not a turn on, unless of course you're senior citizen in which go all out with the rouge. Some girls have naturally rosy cheeks which is fine, I wouldn't say it's a plus, it's just no big deal. So if you don't have them, don't sweat it. It's like models painting a fake mole near their mouth and calling it a beauty mark. If you have a 'beauty mark' that's fine, but please don't fake it. Honestly, men do not care, at least none that I've met. Even if you're pale, men generally don't care so don't waste your time giving your cheeks color. (Jaime here, we're talking bright strips of makeup not perfectly blended natural colors here, just to make that clear)!

Colored lips are fine, yes gloss is better but lipstick is okay, but under no circumstances should you ever outline your lips with a darker color, especially if you're white. I come from a place where white is the minority so for years I thought this was fine, Spanish girls outline their lips with browns and blacks all the time but many of them can't pull it off either. Maybe it's been instilled in me because of where I grew up so I don't always mind the two toned lips but guys from outside of that inner city culture hate the lip outline and find it ugly and even trashy looking. I think your best bet is too just stay away from all together unless you plan on rolling through the hood with a crew of bad bitches who will gladly mess up any guy who dares scoff at your choice of lip wear.

Glitter. Ugh, don't get me started. A little shimmer isn't bad, sometimes it's even pretty, but please, I beg you, do not go all out glitter happy. Aside from looking ridiculous, it gets stuck to us. I hate seeing a stupid little sparkling spot out of the corner of my eyes only to realize it's a piece of glitter on my cheek that just refuses to come off, no matter how hard I rub. And putting it on your chest is really not necessary, very few guys actually find this appealing. Keep it on your face and keep it minimal.

Okay, now onto the two that I'd have to disagree with and I know a lot of men who feel the same way. Eye shadow is difficult because yes, sometimes it's overdone but rarely do I see a girl and think, 'wow she has on way too much eye shadow'. I've seen pretty much every color known to mankind be pulled off, even colors I dislike such as yellow. My personal favorite is the blue/purple/green spectrum (haha, Jaime again, can you tell he's my hubby? I didn't even have to coach him), black is always sexy as well. The trick is to make it blend in, do some cool shading, make it an art. This isn't a coloring book, the one thing you should never do is color inside the lines, the lines being the top of your eyes and bottom of your eyebrow. The one solid color from top to bottom just looks childish, get creative and guys will take notice. But keep in mind, girls who do this are typically considered 'high maintenance' amongst the male population. Personally I say that's a good thing and it'll probably land you a guy who will do his best to look attractive as well, aka a metrosexual.

The other make up no no that seems out of place on this list is skinny eyebrows. Again, maybe it's due to where I'm from but I find skinny eyebrows attractive and know many others who do as well. I once knew this really pretty girl who called her eyebrows 'caterpillars' and was forced to embrace them because her parents wouldn't let her get them waxed until she turned sixteen. Guys thought she was hot despite the caterpillars above her eyes but the day she turned sixteen they were waxed to thin lines and guys went nuts. It pushed her from a seven to a nine or ten. Some girls are blessed with naturally perfect eyebrows but there is absolutely nothing wrong with plucking, waxing, whatever, guys prefer it, at least every guy I've ever known. The one thing you want to stay away from is getting rid of your eyebrow completely and drawing them on but I also know girls who can't grow eyebrows or the hair is so fine it's barely visible and in that case, go for it. With so many features you can't easily change, you can always make your eyebrows beautiful without too much work, although the work involved is slightly painful.

On that note, do what feels comfortable for you. If you're comfortable with it, it shows. Some girls can pull off wild makeup and no one questions it, it's all about how you carry yourself. Trying different things is always cool too, different colors, different styles for different occasions. If you look in the mirror and think it's pretty, it probably is. And if you believe it, guys will too.

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