Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Dudesday Tuesday: Lingerie

I had this friend a few years back, and his girlfriend said she got something for him when she went shopping. My buddy sighed, rolled his eyes and said to me "watch, it's lingerie". That night she climbed into bed in her new lingerie and couldn't figure out why he was disappointed.

Now it may sound cruel but when it comes to girlfriends in lingerie, guys don't care. My friend slept with this girl countless times, saw her naked, all that good stuff, so seeing her in skimpy lingerie was just 'angh'. The exception would be if she wore that the first time they had sex, or before that even and gave him a little preview of things to come. Forget what all the therapists say, sexy lingerie does not spice up a guy's sex life nor does it revive it.

You may ask yourself why he seems to approve of other chicks in lingerie, and that's because he hasn't seen them naked before. If it's Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson gracing the cover of Maxim, guys don't care, not anymore, everyone's seen them naked. It's like taking a step back, like going from having sex back to the days of holding hands and only kissing sometimes. Guys generally want the whole package.

I think what really makes men angry about lingerie is that girls think it's a present for them. Granted, my friend was kind of a dick but he had a point when he said that the lingerie was more of a present for her than it was for him. If someone hands you a present all wrapped up with a bow on it and you have no idea what's underneath, you're excited and ripping that wrapping right off to get to the present. If you already knew what was underneath, you wouldn't be so excited to rip off the bow and pretty paper because it wouldn't be a surprise. That's what lingerie is to guys.

Can a man still appreciate a sexy bra and underwear on his long term girlfriend? Yes of course he can. Some guys like using it for fantasies and things like that, others just like the look of it. So remember, it's nothing against you or the lingerie, it's just taking a step back rather than forward in his eyes. Once the clothes come off, he doesn't want to see them come back on. If you're gonna wear lingerie, surprise him with it, give him a quick peak while you're out somewhere, you don't need to preface it.

To be honest, most guys I know would rather see their girl in boy shorts and a t-shirt. No, it doesn't really make sense but it's equally sexy to us. Lingerie is something to wear for a new man, not the one you've been sleeping next to for too many nights to count. If you wear it to make yourself feel sexy rather than to impress him, he'll find it sexy, but don't do it for his sake. And please please please do not tell him you got him a present if in fact you got yourself a present. He wants a new video game, beer, collectible action figure (or maybe that's just me) or whatever guy thing he's in to. Don't get his hopes up for a present he got years ago. Just because he isn't excited to unwrap you doesn't mean he's bored, it just means you've passed that new toy stage and he still wants to play with you. Take it as a compliment, there's always new toys coming out and he wants to play the same one he's been playing with for years.

Jaime here. In my humble opinion many of us girls consider lingerie to be a confidence booster and therefore it has more to do with how we feel about ourselves than how guys think we look. I couldn't agree more that it's completely unfair to pretend it's a present for him, after all, if you break up is he going to keep your hot bra and thong or are you going to take it with you and wear it for the next guy in your life? Thought so. Matt's not saying you shouldn't wear sexy lingerie, by all means do just don't expect your man to gush over it. Think about it this way, would you be happy if your man said he had a present for you then pulled down his pants and revealed his boxers, probably ones that are your favorite color? Again, thought so. It's a two way street ladies. Buy the lingerie, where it for your man, but don't think of it as a present for him, think about it as a present for your self esteem! Oh and Candice Swanepoel from Victoria's Secret, totally my doing. Matt's more of an Alessandra Ambrosio kinda guy!

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