Welcome to the newest column on Drug of Choice Beauty Dudes-Day Tuesday. Now, along with your regular beauty features you can get the opinion of a real, red-blooded male. I would in no way say that my husband is a man's man but he's got some insightful advice when it comes to women. He's a deep thinker, a writer just like me, with the most poetic and lyric words you'll ever read. Here he is manning up for you, telling you like it is. If you have a question for our dude, leave me a comment or drop me an email, we're happy to answer any of your questions.
Men are pretty much clueless. Some of us are into sports, some of us are still children at heart collecting comic books and action figures, some of us are into cars and building things and other manly things like that, and if something doesn’t fall into one of those categories, our one track minds don’t usually comprehend it. There is one thing we all notice, all the time, no matter what we’re into, no matter what we’re doing, no matter what’s going on around us, some of us have even built up a sixth sense for it; women.
Show us a pretty face, a nice pair of legs, boobs, booties hanging out of booty shorts, a sliver of midriff, hell, even a sexy set of toes visible through the straps on your flip flops and we notice. Heads whip around, mouths hang open, eyes stare way past the point of being appropriate. We all notice. But keep in mind, we’re quite clueless, which means we’re not noticing what you think we are. To be honest, sometimes the girls we’re drooling over aren’t even necessarily all that hot, sometimes it only takes a little bit of confidence to distract us from the flaws we’re blind too blind to see. While the other girls standing nearby are huffing and puffing ‘oh my god that slut’s not even attractive’, wondering why we’re not staring at them instead, it’s got nothing to do with how pretty you are, it’s about how you carry yourself.
Is a guy going to notice the slight contrast between the blue eyeliner and the aqua green eyeshadow you’ve applied perfectly above your eyes and realize that they match the nail polish that alternates between fingers? No, probably not. What he will notice is that you’ve got on interesting makeup that catches his eye. Or maybe it’s not the makeup at all, maybe it’s the cool little braid that hangs to the side of your face making him realize how badly he wants to push the lone braid behind your ear, put his hand to your cheek and kiss those perfect lips he never noticed before. Maybe it’s the interesting cutout of your shirt that shows off the never before seen yet so soft and incredible looking skin of your back, or it could be the simple ripped holes in your jeans that give us just a sample of what lies underneath. It doesn’t take much, we’re simple creatures remember.
I’m not like most men, and most men aren’t like me, although simple and generally clueless, we’re all different and are attracted to different things. I’ve been known to find something as innocent and over looked as a woman’s shoulders sexy as the guys around me are all gawking at an amazing rack. What the dude next to me isn’t saying is that he’s actually looking at the cute headband she has in her hair. The guy next to him isn’t saying that he’s really looking at the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs, but come on, we’re guys, so we don’t actually say that, at least not to each other. We quiet our thoughts and what comes out is ‘damn look at the boobs on that chick’.
What I’m getting at in all of this is to be yourself and accentuate any part of yourself you feel comfortable with on any given day. If you’re not having a good skin day, focus on your hair, bad hair day, focus on your outfit, and if all else fails, simply smile. Bottom line is, you’re beautiful even when you don’t see it, so show it. We’re guys, we’re clueless, we’re simple, so we may not say it in an articulate way or even in a way that lets you know we appreciate it, but even when you don’t think we do, we always notice.