Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dudesday Tuesday

Among men there is a sort of rating system for women that has to do with how attractive a girl is. Is she cute, pretty, sexy or beautiful? Which one is most desirable? Can you fall into more than one category? Are any of them negative?

Unfortunately the answers vary slightly depending on the guy but we all look at it in basically the same way. Yes, one is more desirable than others. Yes, you can fall into more than one category, sometimes more than one at any given time. And yes, any one of these can be looked at negatively. Yeah, I know, men suck. So here’s the list. You may notice that I didn’t include hot but that's because it’s pretty much the same thing as sexy. Now keep in mind, this is going strictly by appearance, once you know the girl these categories no longer apply because something very tricky and dangerous comes into play, personality. I've included examples of individual girls who fit into each category exclusively and pictures of Sophia Bush (catch the return of One Tree Hill on the CW tonight!) that fit into each category.

Cute is the least desirable of the adjectives. It’s generally reserved for girls with short hair, tomboys, overweight yet attractive girls (who can also fall under the other categories as well), girls with no sense of fashion who may look like their conservative mother’s dressed them and insecure girls that the guys don’t notice until they’re placed directly in front of them. Cute can also be used to describe a friend’s little sister or possibly a young actress or singer who isn’t of age yet but is extremely desirable so the appropriate thing to say is “she’s cute” because “man, I so want to tap that” isn’t politically correct. Let me just say that I don’t condone this way of thinking but I’ve seen it done by my fellow man enough times. Some guys like cute, it’s not intimidating and there’s a preconceived notion that not many guys hit on the cute ones so any action they get is viewed as special in their eyes. Cute typically means she’s friend material.

Pretty is good, it means guys are taking notice, which isn’t to say they don’t notice cute but if a pretty girl walks by, guys are poking their friends so they can look as well. If the girl were sexy or beautiful, the other guys wouldn’t need poking, they’d have noticed her already. Pretty is a kind of subdued beauty, it’s not in your face, it’s something you want to look at because you know it’s not out of your league. Men will be quicker to approach a pretty girl because she’s something to brag about and show off but it isn’t as unattainable as say a sexy or beautiful girl who probably wouldn’t give a guy the time of day. Pretty girls are really the only ones who can fit into the other three categories without much difficulty; dress her down and she’s cute, dress her down in a slutty way and throw on some dark makeup and she’s sexy, dress her up and throw on some shimmery makeup and she’s beautiful. Pretty is the kind of girl a guy wants to bring home to meet his parents just as quickly as he wants to show her off to his friends.

Sexy is a tricky one because it’s circumstantial and it isn’t going to be the same every time you see it. It’s not always about the way a girl dresses that makes her sexy, she can be in flannel pajamas and every guy who sees who will say sexy, even though flannel pajamas do not scream sexy. I find it usually has to do with the eyes and lips. Little eyebrows tend to say sexy,the eyes can be small or big and generally speaking the lips are big. Sexy is also about the way a girl carries herself, she’s out there, she knows she looks good and is very in your face about it, the type other women usually hate. The thing is, sexy girls weren’t always sexy, they most likely once fell into one of the other categories but were pushed into ‘sexy’, sometimes by a guy, sometimes by other women, and now they use it as a form or revenge which is probably where the negative stereotypes come from. With revenge comes flirting with unavailable men, sometimes sleeping with them, getting under other women’s skin by stealing attention and using their attractiveness to get what they want. Sexy is not what you bring home to meet the family, it’s what guys show their friends but only from a distance because they’re worried one of their buddies will take her and he wouldn’t put it past her to do so. On a personal note, I’ve found that most sexy women, whether real or fictional, are actually lonely at heart and desperate for something more but sexy becomes a lifestyle that isn’t easy to ditch.

Beautiful. Beautiful is when every guy in the room looks up before they even know what they’re looking at. It’s a presence, a glow, an aura, whatever you want to call it. It makes everyone take notice, man or woman, yet somehow it isn’t in your face. Guys don’t approach sexy, the sexy girl has to approach them, but beautiful girls give off a vibe that says “you can talk to me, I’m actually very friendly” but intimidation kills his hopes. The downside is young guys would rather have someone sexy and go after the beautiful girls when it’s time to settle down, get married and start a family. I remember a conversation in high school about this girl who was absolutely beautiful and the guys all agreed that none of them wanted her, they wanted the sexy friend, even though not one of them would have dated her seriously or ever wanted to raise a family with her.

There’s very fine line between all the categories which only gets more blurred when the girl in question opens her mouth to speak, it can change everything, even alter categories. We’ll get into personality another time but for now, those are the levels of attractiveness. To all of you, whether cute, pretty, sexy, beautiful or some strange hybrid of the four, remember that your personality can change all of that and men, no matter how simple, can be blinded just as easily by what’s inside as what’s out. You know what, screw sometimes all it takes is a smile. Nothing is for certain and nothing is forever. You’re women, you can cross boundaries, switch categories, change classes, it’s all about how you want to be seen. Beauty is a state of being and honestly, you can be whatever you want.

Jaime here. It may not be easy to agree on this but Matt and I, together, have come to a conclusion based on the above picture. From left to right some of the stars of One Tree Hill in this adorable picture I couldn't wait to post. Jana Kramer is the sexy one, brazenly wearing little clothing and owning it. Sophia Bush, while clearly able to cross all boundries is beautiful. Shantel VanSanten is pretty, although Matt might disagree on her actual pretty-ness, she's not really his type and I think she crosses into the sexy category personally. Allison Munn, who plays Jamie's teacher Miss Lauren, is cute.

Any questions, comments or concerns? Blame in on men! Agree? Disagree? Let us know.

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